It occurred to me over the Christmas holidays that when I became a teacher I automatically hit panic and decided to delete any evidence that I had a life before I appeared in the school. This took the form of blogs I had kept, websites I had subscribed to, articles I had written for the university newspaper and even went as far as altering my name on Facebook. This wasn't completed down to my own choice, more on the recommendation of countless teachers who offered all the advice about 'don't show any emotion', 'don't smile until after Christmas' and every other nonsense idea that is thrown at you as you embark on your training.
Now, almost 18 months down the line and numerous Facebook friend requests (and deletes...) later I realised that no matter what you do the kids are going to find out that you are human sooner or later!
I think the turning point for me last year was when I was chatting to a few of the students in what had been, up until that point, my most difficult Year 10 class, and one of them turned to me and said "Miss, did you know that you're friends on Facebook with my brother's girlfriend?" The entire class went silent and my mind went blank as I considered what the implications of this could be. I mean, my profile was completely private for any non-friends, but for my friends they had access to everything! I looked over at the boy who had said this and tried to consider what he knew, but even as I was thinking it he continued with "Yeah, she said you were really cool and that I should ask you about when you lived in Canada cause I'm going there in the summer to see my Dad." I didn't think too much about it then but over the next few lessons I noticed the kids becoming less hostile and more open to chatting. They spoke to me about what was happening in their other lessons and what they were going to do on the weekend, asked my advice on what to wear if they were going on first dates and how to speak to boys/girls that they liked. Gone were the terrifying, argumentative and disruptive students I had been battling with for the first three months of my teaching career - and all it had taken was a sign of a life other than just as a teacher.
I still teach that class, they're in Year 11 and have their final exams coming up in 6 short months, and at times I find myself frustrated by their lack of focus in lessons or the fact that they can still at times be argumentative and disrespectful, but whenever we have had a particularly difficult day I always find that the following lesson they will make an effort to talk to me about their next boxing match or college interview, showing me pictures of the shoes they will buy once they get a job and making an effort to remind me that they too are human, and sometimes we don't make the best impressions even if we do mean to.
The reason I'm talking about this isn't just because I like to talk (although this is a true fact) but because I have decided that it is okay for me to reinstate this blog, even if the kids do find it. I'm not sure how successfully I will be able to keep it up, but hey ho, I'll try.
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